Jai Srila Gurudeva!

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.

nama om vishnu padaya radhikayai priyatmane sri srimad bhaktivedanta narayana iti namine

I offer pranama to om vishnupada Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja, who is very dear to Srimati Radhika.

sri krishna lila kathane sudaksam
audarya madhurya gunais ca yuktam
varam varenyam purusam mahantam
narayanam tvam sirasa namami

Srila Narayana Maharaja is expert in describing krsna-lila. He is endowed with the qualities of magnanimity and sweetness, and he is the best of the great souls. Because he is always relishing Krsna's sweetness, he is able to freely distribute that sweetness to others. I bow down and place my head at his lotus feet.

tridandinam bhakta siromanim ca sri krsna padabja dhrtaika hrdi
caitanya lilamrta sara saram narayanam tvam satatam prapadye

Tridandi-sannyasi Srila Narayana Maharaja, the crown jewel of devotees, always keeps in his heart the lotus feet of Radha and Krsna, especially when Krsna serves Srimati Radhika. He deeply meditates on Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and the internal reasons for His descent. I bow down to the lotus feet of Srila Narayana Maharaja, who possesses innumerable transcendental qualities.

= = =

Tomorrow is the holy disappearance day of my beloved spiritual master, Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Goswami Maharaja. I do not know where to begin in glorifying him or sharing his pastimes and sweetness. I do not feel at all qualified to speak on him in any way, and yet tomorrow I will be asked to speak, and I do want to say something.

Earlier in the year I wrote a poem for him...perhaps I will write another poem. This morning at the temple I live at we spoke on verse 11.11.32 of the Srimad Bhagavatam, in which 28 qualities of a saintly person are described. We picked the first two - merciful, and not taking offense even when people say offensive things about him - and spoke on how Srila Gurudeva is a perfect example of these two qualities.

Many times people would slander my Gurudeva horribly, but he said he considered them as children, and did not take offense. To each who came to him, he would treat them very affectionately. And to those who, very late, realized his potency and purity, he accepted their offerings.

I have one close person to me who, during my Gurudeva's last tour of the West, made a garland for him - after years of feeling unfavorable and disinclined to his lotus feet - and at first he simply let the garland stay on his table in front of him. She thought, "Maybe I am too offensive, so he won't accept it." Then my Gurudeva accepted that garland, and wore it for the whole class (which he doesn't usually do). How merciful! And just see how he does not take offense.

There is so much to say on Gurudeva...I did not get a lot of association, but even just a glance from him was association and filled with nectar. I have never met anyone else who could affect me so. He could make me cry with a laugh, or make me feel about to burst with happiness. His gaze was very sweet, and he could convey so much just by it - chastisement, or joy, approval, so many things.

Once, I was sitting in class and he looked at me. His gaze was so powerful. Just by having him look into my eyes with his beautiful blue eyes, I felt blessed. I wanted to share that glance with him forever. But his gaze was so powerful! I was the first to look away. Perhaps he was slicing anarthas away from me with his glance, and that was why I could not keep my gaze locked with his - I am so material and offensive.


I also feel so blessed to have offered him a little service, just a little. Each year I would greet him every morning with flowers. It felt like I was offering my heart, and it felt like each flower bound me tighter and tighter to Srila Gurudeva. One year, I worked at a booth selling posters of Syamarani didi's art inspired by Srila Gurudeva's transcendental harikatha and rose-like heart. When my Gurudeva heard that I had helped in this service, he gave me a very brilliant, sweet smile. I felt like it was a shot of love injected in my heart to stay there forever. That was one of the times I had made extra effort to serve him; it was one of the first times I felt, "Oh, I belong to this person - not to myself, not to family, but to him, this beautiful personality smiling at me."

He has so much love...it can flood the universe. I feel so indebted to have received that love...I am a small, nothing person, who does not learn - even after years of hearing his harikatha, I did not follow, I do not follow, I remain so confused and lost sometimes - and yet he accepted me, and he will never, ever let go. It is said that just ONE MOMENT with a pure devotee makes one's life successful...so how fortunate am I, to have gotten momentS, days, with His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Goswami Maharaja? It is truly making the impossible possible, that I can have hope of serving Srimati Radhika and Krsna - and Gurudeva has given me this hope.

I want to share a song he wrote:

LYRICS:

(Refrain)

vraja-jana-mana-sukhakārī

rādhe syām syāmā syām

(1)

mor mukuṭa makarākṛta-kuṇḍala, gala vaijayantī-māla,

caraṇana nūpura rasāla

rādhe syām syāmā syām

(2)

sundara vadana kamala-dala locana, bākī cita-vana-hārī,

mohana-vaḿśī-vihārī

rādhe syām syāmā syām

(3)

vṛndāvana mê dhenu carāve, gopī-jana manahārī

śrī govardhana-dhārī

rādhe syām syāmā syām

(4)

rādhā-kṛṣṇa mili aba dou, gaura-rūpa avatārī

kīrtana dharma pracārī

rādhe syām syāmā syām

(5)

tum vinā mere aur na koi, nāma-rūpa avatārī

caraṇana meń balihārī,

nārāyaṇa balihārī,

rādhe syām syāmā syām

TRANSLATION

(Refrain) Krsna gives happiness in the hearts of all the Vrajavasis - Radhe! Syama! Syama! Syama!

1) He wears a peacock feather mukut, swinging makara-shaped earrings and a vaijayanti garland around His neck, and the sound of His anklebells is full of rasa! Radhe! Syama! Syama! Syama!

2) His lotus face is very beautiful and His eyes are like lotus-petals. Wandering here and there, He charms everyone with His flute and threefold curved form! Radhe! Syama! Syama! Syama!

3) In Vrndavana He tends the cows in the pastures, steals the gopis' minds, and holds up Sri Govardhana Hill! Radhe! Syama! Syama! Syama!

4) Sri Radha-Krsna have united and now the two have come as the beautiful golden avatara, preaching kirtana-dharma. Radhe! Syama! Syama! Syama!

5) I have no one but You in this world. You descend as the avatara of the beautiful name and beautiful form. Your lotus feet fill me with wonder - so this Narayana is filled with delight! Radhe! Syama! Syama! Syama!

Jai Srila Gurudeva! May his glories spread everywhere, and may I some day get the dust of his lotus feet not only externally, but internally, so that I can understand his heart and please him to the utmost...

- in service of sri guru and vaisnavas

"I will never allow you to give up the path of pleasing the senses of the Lord".

Final Instructions of Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Sarasvati Thakur by Srila Bhakti Pramode Puri Maharaja:

"Please preach the kirtana of the Supreme Lord, even if in doing so you have to incur debt; then in order to pay off that debt, you will have to be even more engaged in seva. When your creditors put pressure on you, you will be forced to beg more alms. Again, as the pious householders will not give you alms unless your character and conduct are pure, you will be forced to preserve a pure lifestyle with great determination and care.

I will not leave one penny for you, so that in future you won't indulge in laziness and you won't be able to give up your devotional lives full of hari-kirtana and hari-seva.

The math is the center of hari-kirtana, and hari-kirtana is life and consciousness.
To ensure that there is no place for laziness, bad conduct, trivial thought, gossip, or vulgar desire in the math, you have to go from door to door, where your hari-kirtana will be tested by the public. When the public will think that they are the givers of alms and you are the receiver of alms—in other words, that their status is higher than yours—they will critizice you in many ways, thinking you are objects of their mercy. Perhaps some of them will also be ready to kick you out.

Then, on one hand, you will be able to become trnad api sunicha (humbler than a blade of grass) and manada (respectful to others), and on the other hand, you will
take great care to make your lives and characters pure and exemplary.

Furthermore, what will be beneficial for you is this:
as you will correct the mistakes of the common people by citing the message of sadhu, sastra, and guru-varga, you will not make those same mistakes.

Please do not be upset if someone criticizes you personally. But your guru-varga, sastra, and mahajanas are completely faultless, supremely liberated, and eternal associates of the Lord. If, due to ignorance, someone criticizes them, then you should correct that person's mistakes by telling them the real truth. This will be very beneficial for both you and the ignorant people. If you become lazy about begging for alms from door to door to collect ingredients for hari-kirtana, and if you indulge in laziness and bad habits, preferring reclusive bhajan so you can escape others' criticism, then your character will not be purified. You will not have the life of devotional practice.

I will never give you any opportunity to live in a reclusive place so that you can become undisciplined in your heart, thinking no one will come to see or hear you there.

You are my dear-most friends. I will never allow you to give up the path of pleasing the senses of the Lord so you can please the senses of the people of the world, as well as your own, because you received some temporary position or you could not
tolerate some temporary criticism."

Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur - belated

Picture:
Gurudeva

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


An entire month gone by without a post! Please forgive me!

The other day we celebrated the auspicious disappearance day of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakura. Jai!!

Here is some nectar from him:

KITE-PLAYING ON AN UNWALLED ROOF

A dull headed boy was once happily flying a kite from an unwalled rooftop. He became so engrossed in playing that he lost his awareness. His playmates were also encouraging him very much. The boy got so carried away that he failed to notice that one of his legs was hanging over the edge of the roof. None of the other boys alerted him to this peril; rather they simply continued to encourage him to fly the kite.

At that critical moment, a wise man happened to pass by. He saw that the boy was in imminent danger of falling from the roof. He immediately rushed up to save the boy although the others saw no danger. He pulled the boy away from the edge, tore off the thread of the kite and took away the spool of thread.

But the foolish boy and his friends, rather than feeling thankful, began to curse the wellmeaning gentleman. They called him a thief, rascal, trespasser, gunda, hooligan, ruffian and other such names. They even threatened to take the gentleman to court after complaining to their over-indulgent parents. Some even tried to physically assault him. Bearing all this, the kind-hearted gentleman saved the boy from imminent death.

PURPORT

Materialistic persons embrace their certain death by accepting whatever is apparently palatable to them. By no means are they prepared to accept anything which is apparently bitter but ultimately pleasant. Many of our so-called friends in this material world also encourage us in sense gratificatory activities that lead us to certain death and destruction.

By chance if one comes across a benevolent saintly person, he preaches to us out of his sheer mercy some real truths although in an unpleasantly stern exposition (like a dose of strong medicine) in spite of our unwillingness to accept it. Therefore we should accept all good sermons from saintly persons delivered in the cause of our eternal welfare, even if those words appear utterly bitter and heart rending.

-from Upakhyane Upadesa, Instructive Stories from Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura

Srila Bhakti Pramode Puri Goswami Maharaja

I am unable to post pictures at this time, due to a horrible internet connection. I am sorry!


om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


Again I have not been posting, and again, please accept my humble apologies. Recently, roughly a week ago, we celebrated the auspicious appearance day of Srila Bhakti Pramode Puri Maharaja, pictured above.

Please enjoy this appreciation by Srila Gurudeva of Srila Maharaja, published in the Harmonist magazine:

Srila Gurudeva's offering to Srila Bhakti Pramode Puri Goswami Maharaja

Maintaining Eagerness

PICTURES LATER, SORRY


The following is from a booklet of lectures called "After the Disappearance of Sri Guru" by Srila Gour Govinda Swami:


Devotee asks: I was eager to have guru. Now I have guru, but how do I maintain this constant eagerness?

Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja: You must maintain it by thinking, "Out of Krishna's mercy I met my guru. But how can I always get the association of my guru?"

You should be very eager to always have the association of guru and listen to him. Unless you listen to your guru, your doubts cannot be dispelled. If you cannot get the mercy of guru, you cannot get Krishna. So you should be very, very eager, "How can I best serve my guru and please him?"

If gurudeva is pleased, then Krishna will be pleased and and you will get Krishna's mercy; if gurudeva is displeased then where is your position, where is your place? So our concern, our duty, is to please the spiritual master. How is that done?

guru mukha padma vakya, cittete koriya aikya, ara na kariha mana asa
One should carry out the orders of the spiritual master. Gurudeva has many instructions. Some of his instructions are general, and some are specific. General instructions are for everyone. Specific instructions are what he tells specific, individual disciples. One should be especially eager to follow the individual instructions that gurudeva gave to you.

One should think, "Gurudeva has ordered me to do this. How can I best do it? How can I best please my spiritual master? How can I best serve and please him? Doing so I will get the mercy of Krishna. Otherwise, my life is unsuccessful."

...One should think, "Oh, I can't do anything. I'm such a wretched, unqualified, unworthy person! I cannot render any service to my guru. I cannot please him. I have not gotten anything. I have not got the mercy of my guru. I have not pleased him. I have not taken advantage of meeting my guru. Oh, what shall I do? I have not done anything. I do not have the mercy of my guru! How can I get his mercy?"

You should always think like that. ...This is how you maintain eagerness.



Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja ki jai!

At one point he adds that one should not think, "I have got guru, I have pleased him," because then we will not have eagerness.

In some ways I think this is hard, and painful - to think that we have not gotten the mercy, when we are so fortunate to have met Srila Gurudeva. But, we have to have that greed for more, for his mercy, greed to be a good disciple, to follow his instructions. And I have found that when I am trying to be humble and when I am thinking, "Am I pleasing guru?" then actually there is a kind of spiritual satisfaction that comes, somehow, of knowing this is good, to think like this...

I want to maintain eagerness.

If anyone has anything to add, please do.

If you are really thirsty...

Here is Srila Gurudeva at Radha kund. I am uploading this because today on Vraj Mandala Parikrama - walking through sacred Vrndavana - the devotees are going to Radha Kund.

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


This beautiful reassurance and encouragement to be a good disciple and be humble comes from Srila Gour Govinda Swami:

Devotee: Some devotees say that now that
Srila Prabhupada [Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaja] has left they don’t know
how to get his mercy and they are not sure
what to do. In reply you said that if someone
is really eager, their guru can appear in different
forms to help. Can you explain?


Gour Govinda Swami: This is a most
important question. You can see your guru
if you have developed the right vision.
Prahlad Maharaja saw the Supreme Lord
in a stone pillar. But his father saw only
the stone. You can see your guru if you are
really eager to see him. “Yes, my guru is
here. He is speaking to me.”

If you are really thirsty you will cry for water
and run,“Where is water? Where is water?”
This isreal eagerness. In the same way, if you
are eager for your guru’s instruction then you
will be able to see how he is there. He will
give you instructions. He will definitely
impart knowledge.


Devotee: In the form of sādhu and śāstra?


Gour Govinda Swami: Just like śāstra is always
there and sādhu is always there, similarly,
guru is always there. He is eternal. But
you are not eager. You have no thirst, so how
can you get water? You are not eager for
water, so how can you get water? “Oh, I have
gotten. I have no thirst.” This mentality is
very dangerous. You think yourself so great.
You are puffed up. You are not humble at all.
In the Śrī Caitanya Caritāmṛta Ādi 17.31
Mahaprabhu says:

tṛṇād api su-nīcena
taror iva sahiṣṇunā
amāninā māna-dena
kīrtanīyaḥ sadā hariḥ

This is a very important thing. Kaviraj
Goswami says, make a garland of this verse,
put it around your neck, and do hari-bhajana.
Otherwise you are not doing hari-bhajana at
all. You are not feeling lower than the grass,
you are not more tolerant than a tree, you are
not free of false pride, and you are not giving
respect to all. So how will you do hari-bhajana?
But you say, “Oh I am doing hari-bhajana. I
am doing. I am doing.” This is not bhajana.

— From a darśana in Bhubaneswar, 14 November, 1991

The Way to Transcendence

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


Lately I have not been able to post daily, weekly, even monthly. In order to rectify this, I am going to start a new thing - short posts with quotes from our guruvarga and vaisnavas. That way I can still get a post in and share, but I can have time for other things. Right now it is Kartik, and here in Srila Gurudeva's New Braj, we are doing daily parikrama. This week is especially busy because we are preparing for Govardhan Puja! =) Jai!

Also I am doing evening pujari service for Sri Sri Radha Govinda. Pictures of them soon!

Here is our quote today:

Srila Gurudeva (Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Goswami Maharaja):

"You should know that the transcendental names and pastimes of Krsna are all transcendental. Our body, our senses, our tongue, and our ears are material. They can never reach transcendence. There is only one process by which they can touch it. By praying, praying, praying to the lotus feet of gurudeva and Krsna, they will come and they will be in oneness with our tongue, ears, senses, and hearts."

- 29 April 2001

Srila Bhakti Rakshak Sridhar Maharaja

"We must take shelter of His holy name; it is inseparable from His existence. The sound aspect of divinity can help us a great deal on the way back to Godhead. His holy name is our slogan, our war cry - "Hare Krsna!" With that slogan, we shall march on with His genuine agents. We must follow them and withdraw ourselves from all other possibilities and promises, all so-called prospects of life."

- Swami B.R. Sridhar

It has been far too long since my last post. I have been engaged in reading, chanting, and parikrama, but still, this blog is something I shall not abandon and want to continue to engage myself in.

Today is the holy appearance day of Srila Bhakti Rakshak Sridhara Maharaja - JAI!!

Here is one excerpt from this very beautiful gem of a book, Sri Guru and His Grace:

"Everyone must ask himself, 'Where am I? What is my real need? And how much am I hankering for the real thing?'

"All these things will be expressed, and made public. So, this is the real field of sadhana, or practice. Our practice, our advancement, needs all these difficulties. Otherwise we may not know what is progress...So, to purify ourselves it is necessary that many disturbances come.

"...The environment is in the hands of the Lord. He has not done any wrong to me. If I am sincere, then I have to adjust myself with this environment and put my faith before Him. By our stand in any circumstances in the battle, our patriotism will be put to the test. We will be tested to see whether we are real soldiers or not.

"Anything will come, but we will have to face that. I must not forget my Lord, my guru, my Gauranga, my Radha-Govinda, under any circumstances. Under all unfavorable circumstances, I must stand with my head erect and say, 'Yes! I am a servant of that clan, that sampradaya. Everyone may leave me, but I shall stand alone!'

"With this attitude, we must march on, whatever the circumstances may be. Then....our superiors will be pleased with us.

"We must analyze ourselves. How much as we selfish? To what percent are our unwanted bad habits, anarthas, still present in our hearts? How much are the impurities of karma, jnana, mental desires, and other filthy things mixed with the real faith - that must come out, and that must be eliminated in different ways. If we want real good, no one can hinder us. With this spirit we must move and then we will be able to understand what is what."

Srila Bhakti Rakshak Sridhara Maharaja ki JAI!

The Spotless Authority

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


I am about to begin memorizing the following verse, which Srila Gurudeva wanted all his disciples to learn:

aradhyo bhagavan vrajesa-tanayas tad-dhama vrndavanam ramya kacid upasana vraja-vadhu-vargena va kalpita srimad bhagavatam pramanam amalam prema pum-artho mahan sri-caitanya mahaprabhor matam idam tatradarah na parah

"The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Krishna, the son of Nanda Maharaja, is worshipped along with His transcendental abode Vrndavana. The most pleasing form of worship for the Lord is that which was performed by the gopis of Vrndavana. Srimad Bhagavatam is the spotless authority on everything and pure love of Godhead is the ultimate goal of life for all men. These statements, for which we have the highest regard, are the opinion of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu."

- (Caitanya-matta-manjusa by Srila Viswanatha Cakravarti Thakura)

The Srimad Bhagavatam is the spotless authority on everything! wow! That is amazing. To think, we have the answers right there in that book. It will show us how to get the goal of life. Srila Prabhupada said this - he says it in his Preface to the 1st Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam - that by reading Srimad Bhagavatam, in order, by the end "one will know God perfectly well."

How merciful are the Lord and His devotees, to give us this gem? It is spotless, without flaw. We can consult it on anything. And ANYONE can read it! Prabhupada says further in his Preface that, "The only qualification one needs to study this great book of transcendental knowledge is to proceed step by step cautiously, and not jump forward haphazardly as with an ordinary book."

So, it is important that we read the Srimad Bhagavatam in order. Then we can reap full benefit.

Further glorification of Srimad Bhagavatam from the Bhagavatam itself:

"On the other hand, that literature which is full with descriptions of the transcendental glories of the name, fame, form and pastimes of the unlimited Supreme Lord is a transcendental creation meant to bring about a revolution in the impious life of a misdirected civilization. Such transcendental literatures, even though irregularly composed, are heard, sung, and accepted by purified men who are thoroughly honest."

(Bhagavatam, 1.5.11, namanty anantasya yaso...)

I feel so fortunate to have heard Srila Gurudeva speak on this gem so many times. And yet, how much have I heard, and really taken in? Even so, I know I am fortunate to have had the transcendental power of his voice, his sweet harikatha, enter my ears, and I can only aspire to hear one day properly, to "take it in to [my] heart," as he instructed us to at the end of each class of his. And! Just today, I heard from one didi that these transcendental personalities like Srila Gurudeva and Srila Prabhupada, they give us the power to follow their instructions. So we know that even if we can't follow in this life, in some lifetime we can, and we should try for sooner rather than later, right? Srila Rupa Goswami tells us in his Upadesamrta to have both enthusiasm and patience in the path to bhakti (two of the six favorable qualities, Verse 3).

There is so much more to be said on that Bhagavatam verse, especially about the esteemed gopis of Sri Vrndavana dhama, and the topmost gopi, Srimati Radhika. I am not qualified to say anything. Here is more from Srila Gurudeva on the meaning of that verse, aradhyo bhagavan...

"Here, vraja-vadhu means the mood in which the gopis of Vraja worship Krsna, and the Srimad Bhagavatam is the immaculate scriptural evidence to verify this.

"We are so happy to invite all the vaisnavas just after Kartika to join in this program at Gopinath Bhavan on the bank of the Yamuna River. We have only one request. Listen attentively to drink this nectar. The benefit of hearing Srimad Bhagavatam is inestimable. The topmost achievement of the human form of life is krsna-prema."

Jai! Gaura Premanande!

"This path of bhakti is all optimism."

Here's a really amazing excerpt from Srila Gour Govinda Swami's book, Amrutera Tarangini - The Flow of Nectar.

"Somehow or other we have come to this path, so we should be serious. Our Guru Maharaja Srila Prabhupada says, 'This is for serious students.' It is for those who are very serious like Dhruva Maharaja. Dhruva was so serious and determined. 'I must get Narayana.' So be serious and determined like him, then in this very life we will get Krsna. But if there is no seriousness and determination, rather, so many material desires, still whatever little we have earned is never lost.
"There is no despondency or pessimism on this path. This path of bhakti is all optimism. Never become disappointed. If it will not be achieved in this life, definitely in the next life or the life after that it must come to us. This path of bhakti is all gain, there is no loss. We may commit some aparadha, fall down or whatever, so in this very life our advancement is checked. But whatever we have earned is with us, it is never lost.

"There is no loss, it is all gain. So there is no pessimism. This bhakti is so powerful, and this is the teaching."

Sincerely serve and take shelter of Sri Guru

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.

Just recently I picked up the book "The Principle of Sri Guru and Service to Sri Guru," by Sripad BV Madhava Maharaja. This book is very wonderful, as is its author, and elucidates so many truths on sri guru.

While reading it, I became very humbled. One part lists the qualities of a disciple who has sraddha, or firm faith, and I realized most definitely that I do not fit in that category. Another part, which I am going to share, I found very encouraging for its simplicity and loving mood. Reading this part answered a question that had been floating in my mind, many questions actually, such as, how to progress? And how to become a strong devotee and disciple?

Here is the excerpt:

"...if the neophyte sevaka is sincere and takes full shelter of Srila Gurudeva and the senior Vaisnavas, he will quickly be able to progress to the intermediate level, at which his determination to serve Gurudeva will be focused and strong. One who reaches the intermediate level is said to be mahabhagyavan, 'greatly fortunate.'" [CC Madhya Lila 22.67]

When I read this, I thought of myself and also of jiva souls in general. I thought how, if only I could realize how Gurudeva is my only shelter, and appreciate what he has given, then I could serve him every moment - heart, mind, body, words. Gurudeva said once that we can never repay him for what he has given, not in a million lifetimes. And yet still we should try, we should serve him, to show our gratefulness. Instead, I am in maya, and my mind is so weak, and I do not make extra effort.

I thought of examples we have where people take shelter of Krsna, and how we should follow these examples and take shelter of Guru. For example, Draupadi, she gave up the idea of independence and control, knowing Krsna as her only shelter (when the Kauravas were trying to disrobe her), so she literally threw up her arms and cried out, "Govinda! Krsna!" Because of her immense affection, because of her begging, Krsna gave her mercy and helped her; and also because he is so merciful.

We want to attract Krsna to us. Guru has already attracted Krsna; he can give us Krsna. If I can just take shelter sincerely at Gurudeva's lotus feet, than my life will be successful.

Today here in New Braj, Kishori Mohan prabhu gave a very nice class that is relevant to this post. He said many good things, but one was, we should be like a dog, and guru is our master. The dog has affection for master, he follows him always, he does not compromise and wander away, he barks when someone ambivalent to his master comes along, and he is controlled by the instructions of the master. So by following guru's instructions and serving, sincerely, then as Sripad BV Madhava Maharaja says, we can become strong! I want to become strong, and focused, and progress.

Jai Srila Gurudeva! Jai Srila Prabhupada! Jai Sripad BV Madhava! All glories to the vaishnavas!

One should endeavor with great eagerness for spiritual attachment

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.

Today I am sharing from Srila Raghunath Das Goswami's Sri Manah Siksa. This book has the commentary of Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura and Srila Gurudeva. Gurudeva instructs that we should read Upadesamrta, then Manah Siksa, etc. So this book is very important. I actually haven't read it before, so I was happy to read it. I might read it again, because there is so much in it, and I sortof whisked through it; I'm not able to take it all in, anyway.

Just think! Manah Siksa before Upadesamrta. And both of those before Bhagavad Gita...I find Upadesamrta intimidating, myself. So many things in it and Manah Siksa are beyond...but I guess it's supposed to be like that. They tell us the goal. Gurudeva says that Bhagavad Gita is the doorway to surrender; the doorway to Srimad Bhagavatam.
Anyway, the topic of this bit is, spiritual attachment versus material attachment, how spiritual attachment is true attachment -atma rati, our soul's attachment - and should be endeavored for with eagerness.

This part of the commentary is by Srila Gurudeva:

Apurva Rati
Atma rati or rati of the soul is pure rati (spiritual attachment). The jiva is by nature a servant of Krsna. Pure krsna-rati is present in his spiritual form. But when the jiva is diverted from Krsna and bound by maya, his rati (material attachment) is directed toward perishable material objects. This perverted rati which is connected with maya is incidental and distressful.

It is only in pure krsna-bhakti that rati of the soul finds its place. In other words, pure krsna-prema is itself atma-rati, because Sri Krsna is the Supersoul of all souls. In its mature state, the more this pure atma-rati evolves, the more it is known as apurva-rati or unprecedented spiritual attachment.

Atitaram kuru: Make Intensive Endeavors
One should endeavor with great eagerness to obtain atma-rati. One should not remain complacent thinking that bhakti will arise of its own accord by some good fortune. The more one's spiritual strength increases, the more the effects of one's karmic activities will diminish, and without doubt one will obtain the mercy of pure devotees and the Supreme Lord.
The purport of this instruction is that as long as the desire for reward-seeking activity is not diminished by the association of devotees, sraddha will not arise. As long as sraddha or deep faith does not arise, one is unfit to hear and assimilate harikatha and spiritual instructions.

When, by good fortune, paramarthika or transcendental sraddha arises, one should take shelter of a diksa-guru and receive the sri yugala-mantra. Having obtained this mantra, one should worship the diksa and siksa gurus with intense attachment or atma-rati.

One should not be satisfied simply to offer respect to Sri Gurudeva considering him to be a mere sage. Rather, one should serve him with love and devotion, accepting him as one's dearest friend and well-wisher. The three kinds of Vaisnava devotees - kanistha, madhyama, and uttama - should be offered respects suitably and received with affection. One should cultivate true attachment to harinama and the mantra given by one's diksa guru. Considering Sri Sri Radha-Krsna Yugala to be one's life and soul, one should take shelter at Their lotus feet.

I really enjoyed reading this. I found it very encouraging, and I also feel like it explains why so many times I heard Gurudeva, but I didn't *really* hear, because I still have material desires. I feel encouraged, like if I just take shelter of guru and cultivate love and affection, I will be okay; Gurudeva said that guru and Krsna are always supporting and protecting us. So of course, they are taking care of me, too.

Dear Srimati Radhika...

Here is another devotional poem by me:

Dear Srimati Radhika, whose eyes are blue
Whom do you search for, after morning dew?

Is it the thief who has stolen Your heart?
Carrying it with Him from morning till dark

Perhaps He holds it in His yellow cloth
Attracting You to Him, as flame with a moth

His five arrows are always slaying You,
His cheek, eyes, smile, form, and moving 'brows, too

But without a heart, how can You be slain?
Instead You defeat Him in Your love games

Your cunning words strike Him down like a lance
You teach Him the art of a sidelong glance

By it, He is felled like a forest tree
You celebrate, with friends, Your victory

He has stolen Your heart, You steal His flute.
He falls at Your feet, knowing You as root

Of His every happiness, day by day
With the noose of Your love, You make Him stay

Trapped by Your expert hunting, like a deer.
Losing Your favor is His only fear.

Sri Radhe, allow me to serve You, please
So that I may witness Your victories.

I want to serve You as a manjari
When oh when will You give this boon to me?

May this poem help me to melt Your soft heart
So in Your pastimes I may soon take part.

Jai Jai Sri Radhe!!Would anyone like to share or write a devotional poem of their own?

Dear Srila Gurudeva...

The other day, I was reading with some very sweet vaishnavis the 10th chapter of the 10th Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam. In this chapter, in one particular verse, it is described how Mother Yashoda would sing Krsna's pastimes while churning yogurt. In the purport to this verse, Srila Prabhupada says how one used to create poems in order to remember something. He glorifies Mother Yashoda for singing about Krsna while She works.

In a video at this year's New Braj festival, Srila Gurudeva spoke similarly. He instructed that whatever we are doing during the day, during this activity we should sing, "Govinda Damodara Madhaveti, Govinda Damodara Madhaveti..." Also, one vaishnavi said that Gurudeva told that he wanted his disciples to write something each day.

In light of all this, I have decided to write some devotional poetry. This idea occurred to before, during Kartik last year, but I did not follow up on it. Now, I have more desire to.

So here is one small, simple, not very good humble poem to Srila Gurudeva:

Dear Srila Gurudeva,
I want to love you more than I love anyone or anything else.

But I am out of breath
For Maya never rests

She chases me from behind
I hold onto her, so unkind

To myself, moment after moment
When will I relent, and repent?

I have made so much offense
To your lotus feet, which are rinsed

With drops of prem that emanate from you.
Give me strength to serve, and my life will renew.

Only by service can I gain affection, so sweet
For you, and be transported to Radha's lotus feet.

Jai Srila Gurudeva!

I will try to find the video I mentioned. I had the link before, but now I am not sure where it is. I will try to post it later. It is VERY sweet! It is in a class where Srila Gurudeva speaks on Srila Prabhupada's Upadesamrta purports - specifically tan nama rupa caritadi sukirtananu, that verse.

The 10 characteristics of religious life

In the 8th chapter of Jaiva Dharma, entitled "Nitya-Dharma and Vaishnava Behavior", Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura writes:

There are ten characteristics of religious life - dhrtih (determination with patience); ksama (forgiveness), which means not retaliating when wronged by others; damo (control of the mind), which means equanimity even in the face of unsettling circumstances; asteyam (abstinence from theft); saucam (cleanliness); indriya -nigrahah (restraining the senses from their sense objects); dhir (inteligence), which means knowledge of the sastra; vidya (wisdom, or realization of the soul); satyam (truthfulness); and akrodha (absence of anger), as demonstrated by even-temperedness amidst irritating circumstances.

- (Sri Manu Samhita 6.92)

[Babaji speaking] "Six of these characteristics - determination, control of the mind, cleanliness, restraint of the senses, knowledge of the sastra, and wisdom - are duties to one's own self. the remaining four - forgiveness, abstinence from stealing, truthfulness, and absence of anger - are duties to others. These ten religious duties have been prescribed for people in general, but none of them clearly indicate hari-bhajan."

[Later, Babaji goes on to say that the neophyte devotee vaishnava, or kanistha-adhikari, cannot relate to devotees or behave properly, therefore he can only relate to others according to these ten characteristics, and it is implied he or she should try to follow].

The Mercy of Srila Rupa Goswami

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.
Today I am sharing some more nectar about Srila Rupa Goswami. My last post was about Srila Rupa Goswami in his manjari form, where he serves Srimati Radhika very intimately in the form of a young gopi girl. This post will be about Srila Rupa Goswami in his sadhaka form, who heard from Mahaprabhu and knew His moods.

For example, when Mahaprabhu recited a mundane poem at Rathayatra about a person missing their lover, Rupa Goswami knew the true, deeper, inner meaning behind Mahaprabhu reciting this verse. He wrote the following in response:

priyah so’yam krsnah sahacari kuru-ksetra-militas tathaham sa radha tad idam ubhayoh sangama-sukham tathapy antah-khelan-madhura-murali-pancama-juse mano me kalindi-pulina-vipinaya sprhayati


"My dear friend, now I have met My old and dear friend Krsna on
this field of Kurukshetra. I am the same Radharani, and now we are
meeting together. It is very pleasant, but I would still like to go to
the bank of the Yamuna beneath the trees of the forest there. I
wish to hear the vibration of His sweet flute playing the fifth note
within that forest of Vrndavana.”

Srila Gurudeva spoke a class in Vrndavana in 1998 about the cleverness and excellency of Srila Rupa Goswami, his writings, and his mood for Srimati Radhika:

"All of the associates of Krsna act as if they are dumb when it comes to expressing themselves about their own loving exchanges with Sri Krsna. They personally relish Krsna’s pastimes, but they cannot tell anything about their experiences. Radhika will also not tell anything about how She meets with Krsna. Sometimes, in the early morning, Syamala visits Srimati Radhika and asks, “I want to hear something from You. I want to take bath in hearing Your krsna-katha; I want to hear how You met with Krsna last night.” Srimati Radhika replies, “I don’t remember. I went there and I saw Him, and then I fainted, and I don’t know anything about what happened after that.”

Srila Rupa Gosvami's samadhi at the Sri Radha-Damodara Mandira in Vrndavana

"If Candravali asks what happened, Radhika’s sakhis tell the opposite of what actually transpired. They will not reveal what incidents actually took place. Whenever they are asked this question, all act as if dumb. Neither Lalita nor Visakha nor any other sakhis will tell, and even Krsna will not tell what happened. They will relish their pastimes together, but not tell others about them.

Caitanya Mahaprabhu has said:

na prema-gandho ’sti darapi me harau
krandami saubhagya bharam prakasitum
vamsi vilasy anana lokanam vina
bibhrami yat prana patangakan vrtha

(Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila 2.45)

[“My dear friends, I have not the slightest tinge of prema within My heart. When you see Me crying in separation, I am just falsely exhibiting a demonstration of My great fortune. Indeed, not seeing the beautiful face of Krsna playing His flute, I continue to live My life like an insect, without purpose.”]

"Mahaprabhu said, “I have not a scent of that prema.” In this way, He is also as if dumb.

"In Srila Raya Ramananda’s conversation with Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu (Ramananda-samvada), Raya Ramananda – who is Visakha in Krsna’s pastimes – barely told anything. He was simply replying to Mahaprabhu’s questions, one after another. In Mahaprabhu’s instructions to Srila Sanatana Gosvami (Sanatana-siksa), what did He tell? He did not say anything about the confidential pastimes of Sri Sri Radha-Krsna, nor did He reveal how the gopis serve Them.

"What has Mahaprabhu told in His instructions to Srila Rupa Gosvami in Sri Rupa-siksa? He told next to nothing regarding Radha and Krsna’s pastimes. And finally, He ordered Rupa Gosvami to reveal all that He Himself could not.

"Even Rupa-manjari cannot tell anything. Only Rupa Gosvami can tell; he tells everything.

...

"He tells us what he has seen: In the form of Rupa-manjari he is serving Krsna and Srimati Radhika. He is obeying the orders of Srimati Radhika and stopping Krsna from entering Her kunja. He is seeing how Krsna, being so much pleased, is begging her to be allowed to enter Radhika’s kunja and is placing His head at her (Rupa-manjari’s) own lotus feet to attain her (Rupa-manjari’s) mercy.

Sri Rupa Manjari

"Srila Rupa Gosvami is very clever. He has written all his prayers as though he has not already experienced the fruit of those prayers. Although he has actually experienced his personal services to Radhika, he is writing prayers as if he has never experienced this – for us. What he felt in the form of Rupa-manjari, he has very cleverly shared with us by means of his prayers.

"Rupa Gosvami has personally taken darsana of Radha and Krsna, but for the true, sincere sadhaka, he has written this verse in his prayer, “Gandharvika Prarthan-astakam”:

vrndavane viharator iha keli kunje
matta dvipa pravara kautuka vibhramena
sandarsayasva yuvayor vadanaravinda
dvandvam vidhehi mayi devi krpam prasida (1)

[“O devi Radhike! Like the intoxicated king of elephants sporting with his queen elephant, Sri Krsna and You are constantly enjoying Your ambrosial amorous pastimes in the lush pleasure groves of Vrndavana. Therefore, O Gandharvike, be pleased with me and mercifully grant me the darsana of Your two lotus-like faces.”]

"Srila Rupa Gosvami is teaching by his own example how a rupanuga Vaisnava prays to Srimati Radhika. Those who want to follow him never pretend to have already attained ekadasa-bhava (gopi-bhava, or manjari-bhava). Those who pretend to be already on that platform when they are actually not so, are actually mad; they have no sense at all. We should always pray as Srila Rupa Gosvami prayed. Then, by the mercy of the gopis and by the mercy of Srimati Radhika, we can realize all the truths hidden within Rupa Gosvami’s prayers. Srimati Radhika will give this realization. She will at once be pleased and give Her service.

"Srila Rupa Gosvami teaches us how to pray: “Vrndavane viharator iha – O, when will that time come? O my dear Srimati Radhika-devi, You are very merciful, so please be merciful to me. Please sprinkle Your mercy upon me.”

"...If Srimati Radhika hears these prayers uttered from the core of one’s heart, Her heart will melt and She will bestow Her mercy.

"Srila Rupa Gosvami has skillfully written prayers such as this, filled with the pastimes of Krsna. He is Rupa-manjari, a prominent nitya-siddha (eternally perfect) associate of Radha and Krsna, but in the form of a sadhaka he is explaining to us the pastimes and the process to understand and enter them, so that we may be helped. This is his mercy."

Source link [entire class]: August 6, 1998: "The Mercy of Srila Rupa Goswami"

Srila Rupa Goswami ki JAI!!! So much mercy!! Tomorrow is Lord Balarama's appearance day! Jai!!

Srila Rupa Goswami as Rupa Manjari

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


Today I want to share some nectar about Srila Rupa Goswami in his form as a manjari or maidservant of Srimati Radhika, Rupa Manjari. I read the following sweet excerpt from "Sri Guru and His Grace" written by Srila Bhakti-Rakshak Sridhara Maharaja (pictured above with Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada).

First he establishes the supreme position of Srimati Radhika and Her service as our highest goal, as told by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu:

"The servitorship of Srimati Radharani is said to be of the living being by the school established by Mahaprabhu. It is the gist of the Srimad Bhagavatam. It is Krishna's own version."

He quotes Srimad Bhagavatam 11.14.15 and 10.47.61, where Krsna praises Uddhava, and where Uddhava praises the gopis, of whom Srimati Radhika is the topmost. He then quotes Jayadeva Goswami, who writes in his Gita Govinda how, when Srimati Radhika left the rasa dance, even with all the gopis there Krsna was not satisfied, and chased after Radhika.

From there:

"The rupanuga sampradaya, the followers of Sri Rupa, are those who have the unique taste of service in the camp of Radharani...The highest kind of divine sentiment is distributed from the camp of Srimati Radharani, and that can never be compared with any attainment hitherto known even in the eternal factor of time and space.

"...Why should we try to enter into the camp of Radharani?...Radharani's service to Krishna is of the highest order in every way. If we devote our energy to help Radharani, our energy will be utilized in Her service. In this way She will serve Krishna with Her service more enhanced. Then the reciprocation will pass to us through Her as our reward. That will be devotion of the highest type, mahabhava...



"Yet still, there is another, higher thing. We are known as rupanugas, followers of Sri Rupa. Why? The service of Srimati Radharani eliminates everything, even Narayana, to go to Krishna...

"Still, there is another point. Who is Rupa? Rupa Manjari. Generally the hierarchy in the spiritual world is eternal. New recruits can occupy a particular rank of manjari, assistant, in madhurya rasa. And the leader of manjaris is Sri Rupa Manjari...



"When Radharani and Krishna are in secrecy, in private, the sakhis [Lalita, Visakha, and their followers] do not like to approach there and disturb...but the younger girls [manjaris] can enter there....


"New recruits may come to the manjari class. The manjaris have that sort of special advantage under the leadership of Sri Rupa Manjari....the most sacred type of pure service, which is not even open to the sakhis [Radharani's girl friends], is open to the manjaris. That is found in Radharani's camp. So, the position of the rupanuga, the followers of Sri Rupa, is the most profitable position.

"...So, the camp, the sampradaya of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is known as the rupanuga sampradaya. There our fate and fortune is located. Now we have to conduct ourselves in such a way that naturally we can connect with that highest, pure spiritual conception from here."

Srila Rupa Goswami, Rupa Manjari ki JAI!!

I got to hear more nectar on Srila Rupa Goswami, his literature, and how special he was, to know the mood of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. I will try and share more tomorrow. Now I am in New Braj, and I heard from Gopanandini that Srila Gurudeva used to do a festival for Srila Rupa Goswami, from his disappearance day until Balarama's Appearance Day. So I will try and stay in that mood and post more on Srila Rupa Goswami tomorrow.

How merciful is Srila Rupa Goswami in his form as Sri Rupa Manjari! All she wants is to help us serve Srimati Radhika, the highest goal. I also heard Srila Gurudeva describe how, whereas the sakhi friends of Radharani try to pacify her sulkiness and separation, Rupa Manjari is so close to Radharani that she actually *feels* the same things that Radha is feeling, when She is feeling them. How wonderful is Sri Rupa Manjari...

The Prospect of Divine Love; Srila Rupa Goswami

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.

Today is the disappearance day of Srila Rupa Goswami. Srila Rupa Goswami is a very important person. It is he who knows the heart and mood of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. In Krsnaloka, Rupa Goswami is Rupa Manjari. She is the head of all the manjaris, or personal maidservants, of Srimati Radhika.

Srila Gurudeva makes the distinction in his Essence of All Advice that Rupa Manjari is not like Lalita and Visakha, and other dear friends of Srimati Radhika. Those friends of Srimati Radhika try to dissuade Her from Her sulking mood or Her separation. But Rupa Manjari feels the very same things that Srimati Radhika feels. So when Radhika is in separation, so is Rupa Manjari, and when Radhika is happy with Krsna, then Rupa feels that she is with Krsna, too.

Right now I am reading 'Sri Guru and his Grace' by Srila Bhakti-rakshak Sridhara Maharaja. In this book, he has one part where he speaks about the prospect of divine love, and quotes Srila Rupa Goswami's Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu:

"At present, we are disconnected from the prospect of divine love which we cherish in the innermost quarter of our hearts. If we want to have that privilege very easily and very quickly, we must approach the Lord with plain speaking and with a naked body and mind, with everything exposed.

Srila Rupa Goswami in Bhakti rasamrta sindhu (1.2.152) has written:



mat-tulyo nasti papatma
naparadhi ca kascana
parihare pi lajja me
kim bruve purusottama
"My Lord, I feel ashamed. How shall I offer You so many pure things like flowers? Generally, pure things are offered to You, but what about me? I have come with the most filthy thing to offer You. I feel ashamed. I have come to You, with only my shame, to beg for Your mercy. There is no parallel to my sinful life, criminal life. Everything that can be conceived of as bad is found in me. It is very difficult even to speak about the characteristics of my heinous sins and crimes.

"Still, Your nature, existence, fame, and benevolence cannot but attract me. You can save me. You can purify me. Hoping against hope, I have come to You. And I have only one solace, that I am the real object of Your mercy. Your tendency is to purify the meanest. Those who are the most needy have some claim to Your mercy. I am the worst of the needy and the meanest of the mean. This is my only qualification, my only hope to attract Your attention and appeal to Your magnanimity."

I think this quote is extra amazing, because here it seems to me that Srila Rupa Goswami is teaching us how to pray to the Lord, and how to pray to our most magnanimous gurus. And our gurus tell us to pray to Srila Rupa Goswami.

Here is a nice class on the swing festival, jhulan yatra, which this year lasts from yesterday and ends Sunday (the day after Lord Balarama's appearance day!). This class also includes some katha on Srila Rupa Goswami, by Srila Gurudeva:

link to class

jhulan yatra ki jai!

I will post more on Srila Rupa Goswami today. For now, this is it. All glories to Srila Rupa Goswami!