Syamarani didi --- Siksastakam, reality --- Santa Cruz, 06/07/12

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
"O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance."

 

June 7, 2012

Santa Cruz

Syamarani didi

 

"Hope against hope, even though there's no hope.

Take responsibility for what you're going through. 'O Krsna, you are my only friend.'

Krsna is in every atom. So is Radha. So is Gurudeva! He is in atoms, in pastimes, in all gayatri mantras and in his instructions, and he is present in others - comes through others.

He teaches us how to pray in the book Gauravani.

Thinking we're a general servant of Krsna is not enough to get us out of misery. Go for a specific identity as servant; manjaris of Radhika with specific services.

Syamasundara sikhanda sekhara is a prayer to the manjaris.

We are amnesiacs in an insane asylum. This is the medicine to get out. 

Sometimes Radhika forgets that She's met Krsna before. Sometimes when She gives Him a sidelong glance, He faints. This is how much She controls Him. We are actually Her maid servants. She thinks of Her manjaris as like Herself. This is our intimate relationship with Her. All these other things - "Oh, I have a headache, I'm cold," etc., - are insanity.

As we hear and picture Krsna, this is with material vision, but this is part of the process. We have high moods in us, they're just sleeping. When we sleep we dream crazy things. Our material stuff is all a dream.

The affection of this world is all a dream. I once said, what about godbrothers? Gurudeva said, can two jivas marry each other? [implied no.] Then I asked, what about two godbrothers? Gurudeva said, do you know [name]? Do you know [name]? [No. They are not this body.] This is the only way to go. This is reality.

What is the rasa of my constitutional form? That is the question. There is no other concern. Don't think you're the sweater.

Go through the spiritual motions - this is our CPR, our artificial breathing until we can actually breathe. When we practice, the mercy descends. 

We can keep our priorities straight and keep long term happiness over short term happiness by reading of the reality, chanting, hearing, honoring prasadam, praying, etc. PRACTICE."

Syamarani didi --- Siksastakam, chanting --- Santa Cruz, June 6, 2012

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
"O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance."

Syamarani didi
June 6, 2012
Santa Cruz

"Have a mood of appeal, grief-stricken appeal, when saying these prayers. We can make advancement like this every day. Gurudeva said, if we're not advancing, it is because of offenses. But that's not the end. We can pray even more because of it. And only Gurudeva can give us the mood of grief-stricken appeal. So even more reason to pray!

"ayi nanda tanuja...these phrases reveal how we can solve all problems. We must see leaving Krsna as the cause of all miseries. We think we are in control due to wicked hopes and misplaced anxieties. Instead we should only have anxiety for - 'I am not seeing Radha and Krsna.' Karma is the desire to enjoy the fruits of our actions. It is like trying to grab onto one straw while drowning.

"Force the mind to think positive affirmations - 'Please forgive my faults, because I am without shelter,' not, 'Gurudeva can't save me,' that's down the drain.

"Each phrase and word we say opens up a new world. We pray to be the manjaris, who can see Radha and Krsna in early morning, etc. Can untangle their hair, etc. Sakhis cannot do this.

"The tongue is the most dangerous of all the senses. Unless we control it, we can't chant. Why do we chant? To obtain the service of the lotus feet of Sri Radha. This is why we serve Krsna, pray to him, etc. Everything leads back to serving Sri Radha.

"By keeping the goal in mind, we can obtain it.

"Trying to control the mind is like trying to stop a tornado. But by constancy, practice and detachment, we can."

Syamarani didi - Nirjala Ekadasi, Humility --- LA, May 2012

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
"O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance."

  

More shorthand notes -

Syamarani didi
Nirjala Ekadasi
Humility
LA, May 2012

"We are being scorched due to indifference to Krsna. Indifference is solved by bhajan - reading about Krsna, hearing about Krsna, chanting, praying to Krsna, etc.

"Why should we be MORE insignificant than a blade of grass? Grass has natural ego; our ego related to our body is not natural, because we are not this body. It is illusion.

"A tree with no fruits and flowers still stands tall; a tree with fruits and flowers bends over. Similarly, a proud person with no good qualities stands tall. A humble person laden with good qualities bends over in humility.

"If we even correctly criticize someone - our criticizing comment is correct - we go where they are destined to go [for doing whatever bad thing you are criticizing them for.]

"Once, Gurudeva asked Damodara Maharaja, "Who is superior, you, or your stool?" Damodara Maharaja answered, "Me, of course." Gurudeva said, no, your stool is superior, because it can say, 'I was once a nice sweet of cake, but by association with you, I became stool.'

"Nirjala Ekadasi, Nirjala is God, not a day. Gurudeva said, 'If you have any defect in Ekadasi, chant, pray, weep.'

"Take carnamrta on Ekadasi. When doing acamana on Nirjala Ekadasi, only touch water to your lips, don't take any in. Even young boys in India follow Nirjala Ekadasi.

"Day before Nirjala Ekadasi, take no water and have only 1 meal.

"'Chant, and everything will be okay." - Gurudeva"

Syamarani didi - Sri Siksastakam verse 2-3 - LA, 2012

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah
"O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance."

 

 

Here are more of my notes from the 2012 Gaudiya Girls Tour with Syamarani didi:

"10 offenses to the Holy Name - Srila Prabhupada would discuss these at initiations and ask his disciples to recite them.

"All names of Krsna and His plenary portions are powerful, but the most direct ones are more powerful - Krsna, Govinda, versus Nrsingha, etc. The highest names of Krsna are the ones associated with Srimati Radhika.

"We have to become Prahlada, Gangamata Goswamini, etc. before we can be gopis. Ultimately we want to be gopis. We want Vraja Krsna, not Devakinandana.

"If we want something while chanting, nama will give us that thing and then go away - a person, money, etc. Nama is like a desire tree.

"'Samsara dukha jaladhau...

 O Caitanya Candra, I am drowning in the ocean of ignorance in a net, chained by wicked desires, getting bitten by the crocodiles of lust, anger, greed, etc. Please save me!

"If we are remembering this verse while chanting, this is good. Acknowledge that we can't control our minds.

"9th offense to the Holy Name - innocent and ignorant versus envious and aggressive. We do sankirtana for the ignorant. Prabhupada said, it's a risk we take for Mahaprabhu. Even if we are handing out Gopi Gitas; Prabhupada said, if they start thinking that Radha and Krsna are ordinary boy and girl, this is OK. It's a start.

"Innocent and ignorant won't make offenses when they read it. But WE can! We must pray to the pastime potency to protect us and to help us understand. Consciously guard against the 10 offenses. How can we become free from offenses? Chant more!

"How can you tell them Krsna is God, if you have no potency to convert them? Gurudeva has the potency.

"What we say to the people does not matter; they either have the sukriti or not.

"Gurudeva said, pray to whomever can help you while you are chanting.

"Make your japa and mantras priority - when you put small pebbles in a jar first, then the big rocks can't fit. But if you put the big rocks in first, and then the small pebbles, the little pebbles slide in-between the cracks and it all fits.

'If after this class you repeat what I'm saying, it will go in your heart. If not, it will not.'
- Srila Gurudeva

Srila Gurudeva and Syamarani didi

Bhavocchvasa

Quote:

Bhavocchvasa...means an outburst of feeling which expresses the bhava hidden in the hearts of the gopis. How does this occur?

The gopis were silent and Krsna was silent. They were feeling the mood of separation. The gopis were weeping and feeling very distressed at heart. But suddenly Krsna approached Srimati Radhika from behind and clasped His hands in front of Her eyes. She knew it was Him by the touch of Hish hands, but She did not let on that She knew. She exclaimed, "Visakha," and Krsna laughed, trying to restrain Himself.

Srimati Radhika was feeling overjoyed. Then just to increase Krsna's mood, She said, "Yes, I know. You are Lalita."

Then Krsna could not check Himself anymore and He at once began to laugh very loudly. Then Srimati Radhika said, "Oh You, You, You, You!" After this They embraced.



This is an example of bhavocchvasa.Srimati Radhika is always experiencing bhava within Her heart. But if an uddipana comes and makes these moods come out from the heart so that everyone can see, it is called bhavocchvasa.

This bhavocchvasa is so powerful that it cannot be checked by anything, just as the flow of a swift-moving river cannot be checked."

- from Gurudeva's commentary on Mahaprabhu's Siksastakam, at the end of the book Sri Siksastaka

The supreme object of human attainment

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


My two-week-long absence from home has prevented me from posting here. But today, I am going to post a couple posts sharing more from Srila Gurudeva's Sri Siksastaka (which, let me remind, includes commentary by Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati, and Gurudeva on Mahaprabhu's Siksastakam).

I am currently reading the book's glossary, having finished this beautiful book today, upon arriving home from Los Angeles. I had a wonderful stay at the Radha Govinda Mandir on Rose avenue! It is such a beautiful temple. I was there for two weeks, and my stay included classes by Damodara Maharaja and the Appearance of Lord Nrsinghadev. =D More on that later...I have pictures I hope to figure out how to upload from my phone...

Today our entry is on the Goals of Human Attainment. This is an entry in the glossary under P called "purusartha":

"In the Vedic scriptures [the goals of human attainment] are classified into four categories: 1) dharma - religious duty, 2) artha - acquisition of wealth, 3) kama - satisfaction of material desires, and 4) moksa - liberation from material existence.

Beyond all of these is the development of unalloyed love for the Supreme Lord who is the embodiment of spiritual bliss and transcendental rasa. This is known as parama-purusartha, or the supreme object of attainment. Since this is truly the ultimate goal, why have the scriptures declared the other four as goals to be attained? By careful analysis, the underlying purpose of the sastra may be understood in this regard.



There are many different classes of men in material existence. Their tendencies and tastes are not all the same. Their aspirations may be roughly divided into the four categories mentioned above. When these four are analyzed comparatively in terms of their respective merits, it is seen that kama is lowest, then artha, dharma, and finally moksa.

In other words when these are viewed in terms of the development of consciousness, then it is seen that those in the gross bodily consciousness seek only kama. When one progresses beyond this and desires satisfaction of the mind and intellect, he seeks artha to fulfill his goals. When one looks beyond this life to the next life and aspires for superior enjoyment in the hereafter, he pursues dharma by which his goal may be accomplished. When one completely abandons the quest for material enjoyment and aspires freedom from material existence, he seeks moksa.



Thus when considered in this order, these four goals represent the successive development of human consciousness...If those who desire nothing other than bodily happiness can be encouraged to adopt religious principles to fulfill their goals, then they will develop morality and a sense of duty. If they develop faith in the Vedic principles, then by coming into the association of devotees they can be purified and aspire for the ultimate goal of bhakti...

Therefore, understanding all these points, one should strive for the parama-purusartha of krsna-prema."

[Art courtesy of BBT]

The pure devotees exhibit respect, humility, and tolerance

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


Today, in my continued reading of Srila Gurudeva's Sri Siksastaka (which contains Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura's Sri Bhajana-rahasya and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati's Vivrti, commentaries on Mahaprabhu's Siksastakam), I read about 4 qualities.

1) humbler than a blade of grass - trnad-api sunicena
2) More tolerant than a tree - taror api sahisnuna
3) Absence of false prestige/pride/ego - amani
and
4) Offering all respects to others (according to their position) - Manada

After an explanation of these four qualities, Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura, as part of his Sri Sanmodaya Bhasyam, comments on how the pure devotees possess these four wonderful qualities:

"The nama-bhajanandi Vaisnavas, on the other hand, are even humbler than a blade of grass; they are more tolerant than a tree; and while remaining indifferent toward their own prestige, they are always eager to offer all respect to others. In this material world, they alone are competent and able to chant the holy name of the Lord constantly.

The respect which pure Vaisnavas offer to their respective gurus and other Vaisnavas is inspired by their innate propensity to honor others. This is known as svabhavika-manda-dharma. In order to enthuse their followers of dependents in bhajana, pure devotees display affection and encouragement toward them. This is done out of their natural pridelessness. This is known as amani-svabhava.

In other words the respect, honor and affection that such devotees offer is due to the innate feeling of the heart. Pure devotees do not consider such affectionate words of appreciation to be cheap material flattery. Furthermore, by tolerating the tauntful remarks of the foolish, they exhibit their quality of forbearance.



Pure devotees constantly engaged in chanting the holy name consider themselves to be even lower than the straw in the street that is trampled beneath the feet of all living entities in this world. They never think of themselves as gurus or Vaisnavas. They consider themselves to be disciples of the entire world and the most fallen and insignificant of all. Knowing every atom and infinitesimal living entity to be the residence of Sri Krsna, they do not consider anything to be inferior to themselves.

Devotees absorbed in chanting the holy name never desire nor request anything for themselves from anyone in this world. Even if others bear malice toward them or commit violence, they never retaliate nor adopt a vengeful attitude; on the contrary, they pray to the Lord for the welfare of their tormentors."

When I was reading this section this morning, every single paragraph describing the pure devotee reminded me of Gurudeva!! It was so wonderful. I thought of Gurudeva's humility, his kindness, and how very affectionate he was to all. I thought of how, yes, by displaying these beautiful qualities, Gurudeva certainly is inspiring me to continue in trying to water my devotional creeper.

Srila Prabhupada and all of our guru-varga all display these qualities. They are all wonderful, and they shine like bright gems. We do not know how rich we are, in having such wonderful guru-varga acharyas to follow. Their qualities are so many and they are so magnanimous.

I take shelter at the lotus feet of our guru-varga and pray that I may serve them nicely.

The white lotus of good fortune

om ajnana timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

O Gurudeva, you are so merciful. I offer my humble pranama unto you and am praying from the core of my heart that, with the torchlight of divine knowledge, you open my eyes which have been blinded by the darkness of ignorance.


Today, I started reading Srila Gurudeva's commentary on Sri Siksastakam. This book contains two books, both of which are commentaries on Sri Krsna Caitanya's siksastakam. One is Sri Sanmodana Bhasyam by Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura, and the other is simply called Vivrti, meaning "commentary" by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakura. Some of Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura's commentary is based on commentary by Srila Jiva Goswami (for verses 7 and 8 of siksastakam).




Srila Jiva Goswami, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakura, Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura

In his introduction, Srila Gurudeva emphasizes the deep pain he felt that these two gems were not in the Hindi language; so he translated it into Hindi, and the mercy of the vaishnavas so sincerely serving him we have an English translation as well.

It is very extensive and detailed; I am only on sloka 1 of the siksastakam (chapter one of this book) and already there is detailed commentary by Srila Bhaktivinode, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta, Srila Jiva Goswami, and Gurudeva on this one sloka! It is kind of a lot to take in. There are many lists branching off of other lists; my poor feeble mind has trouble keeping track of it all!

Here is some nectar by Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura:

"Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, who is the Supreme Lord of all and whose lotus feet are constantly served by suddha Vaisnavas, says, 'param vijayate sri krsna sankirtanam.' In other words, let there be supreme victory only for the chanting of the holy name of Sri Krsna. A question may be raised here. Can sri-krsna-sankirtana, which is aprakrta, non-material, and beyond the range of maya, become victorious in this material world created by the external energy? Yes."

Later, detailing the effects of Sri Krsna sankirtana, there is one section titled "Sreyah kairava candrika vitaranam: Diffuses the moonrays of bhava bhakti for the highest good of the jiva":

"For the living entities ensnared by maya, material enjoyment alone is desirable, and it is on this account that they have to rotate in the cycle of repeated birth and death in this material world, suffering the three-fold miseries. In complete opposition to this, aversion toward maya and constant engagement in the service of Sri Krsna is the highest achievement (sreyah).

This highest achievement is compared to the white water lotus or kumudini. Just as the soothing rays of the moon cause the white lotus to blossom, sri-krsna-sankirtana, diffusing the moon rays of bhava-bhakti, causes the white lotus of good fortune to bloom for the jivas."